Ayam That Meme

First saw it on Kenny’s and then my brother and his friend Xiaoo decided to take it on and so did another friend of my brother’s  Ian. Has it become a meme?!

I hope you don’t mind Kenny, but it’s damn sweet and fun! Here’s mine!

I think I’ll call it Ayam The Meme.

I am that girl who pretended that a slipper in the middle of the road was very interesting because I was shy to hold your hand.

I am that girl who flashed her friends to make them laugh.

I am that girl who swore to her mother at the age of 8 in a raging fit saying, “If being a dentist is the last job on the face of the earth, I WON’T EVEN TAKE IT!!!” after getting one of her final milk teeth pulled out at a dental clinic in SS2.

I am that girl who nearly got kidnapped in Subang Parade at the age of 3 on the fateful day that she decided to ponteng kindergarten but nobody seems to take me seriously for it.

I am that girl who wrote a love letter to a boy in standard 2 but he rejected me by throwing my scissors on the floor. Don’t know why.

I am that girl who called her mother a Silly Pucker at age 8 for not playing monopoly and got whacked by her dad who mistook it for Silly Fucker.

I am that girl who did not want to tell her dad where she learnt that word from because she was afraid to be deprived of her Archie Comics so she quickly racked her 8 year old head to find a comic that she could do without – and so she put the blame on her Mickey Mouse & Donald Duck comics instead.

I am that girl who learnt where babies came from at the tender age of 5, courtesy of her Phillipina maid.

I am that girl who actually got sexually harassed at the age of 8 by a chindian guy who wanted to take piano lessons from her mother borrowed her home toilet and claimed that he wet himself and asked her to wipe his dick for him with a towel.

I am that girl who actually wiped his dick with a towel.

I am that girl who remembers it being big and black.

I am that same girl who used loads of handwash to scrub at her hands after he left.(symptoms of a sexually harassed victim)

I am that girl who is NOT emotionally scarred from it and found it very funny albeit dangerous 10 years later.

I am that girl who knows I can report him to the police.

I am also that girl who knows how the fuck can she remember that fucking fuckers face and hence it is impossible to lodge a report.

I am that girl who is now thinking, “my poor virginal 8 year old hands..”.

I am that girl who enjoys telling people that story, partly because it IS the truth and partly because other people’s reaction to it is very interesting.

I am that girl who felt like the ugliest thing in the world when a boy once told her that she was “Fucking ugly, want to vomit,” when she was a mere 12 year old.

I am that girl who has bad period pains and wriggles on the floor.

I am that girl whom you nearly kissed during prom.

I am that girl whose shoulder you cried on whenever he makes you feel emotionally wretched.

I am that girl who gave you a Purple Streetwear Nailpolish in exchange for that cute senior’s ICQ number.

I am that girl who frightened you when she said, “You know, nipple stickers are the bomb.”

I am that girl who is an incurable blog addict.

I am that girl who dies without the internet.

I am that girl who will endure 6 hours to and fro from Kedah to KL just to see you.

I am that girl who wonders if her family will still go to Vietnam for a holiday after paying a bomb for her education.

I am that girl who doesn’t want her friends to go away to study.

I am that girl who will never stand in the way of anyone’s education.

I am that girl who cannot speak mandarin.

I am that girl who believes that she can be more of a hopeless romantic if only she was of a different sex.

I am that girl who loves glitter too much.

I am the same girl whose father told her that if her lungs were to be dissected, they’d find glittery residue in her lungs.

I am that girl who knew you were looking at me so closely when you thought I was asleep; 3 years ago.

I am that girl who once thought it was the end of the world when she had dandruff.

I am that girl who obsesses easily.

I am that girl who is secretly proud to be a year younger than her peers because she will graduate younger.

I am that girl who feels most guilty for the things she has done when she’s shitting in the toilet.

I am that girl who has stopped liking Douglas Lim because of his long hair.

I am that girl who folded you origami hearts with a special note in each and everyone of them and stuffed them all into a cookie jar and sent it to you for this year’s Valentine’s Day.

I am that girl who was overwhelmed when you showed how happy you were to receive the hearts and the cookie jar by saying, ‘I love you!!’.

I am that girl who’s just a wee bit disappointed that you forgot to open this month’s origami heart.

I am that girl who wants to spend new year’s eve watching fireworks with you.

I am that girl who hates her hair.

I am that girl who is out of touch with the Klang Valley for nearly three months.

I am that girl who hasn’t been to the cinema in nearly three months.

I am that girl who actually misses national service.

I am that girl who is such a hypocrite.

I am that girl who made you her diary since the raw beginnings back in 1999.

I am that same girl who can never thank you enough for being the big brother that she has never had.

I am that girl who played rollercoaster with a mattress down the staircase with you as a child.

I am that girl who was your 30th birthday present.

I am that girl who put bubble gum in your hair because you pissed me off.

I am that girl who farted in your face when you were climbing the stairs behind me because I hated the fact that you had a crush on the same guy as me.

I am that girl who hates changes.

I am that girl who is lying down now wondering if the ache in her tummy is a period pain, the impending signs of a good shit or a raging fart.

Damn! This is so friggin’ therapeutic!! This is a voluntary meme, no obligations to listing down a few selected names. It’s good for the brain.

My Desperation For A Touch ‘N’ Go Card

Since I’ve discovered the wonders of Plaza Rakyat behind the Pudu Bus station, nobody wants to fetch me from Pudu Raya anymore.

It’s no fun queuing up during the eleventh hour trying to catch the last train back. Or to be stuck in Subang an hour before the bus leaves.

You know, I thought I was all high and mighty, equipped with the knowledge that I, Jolene Lai, know how to commute back and forth without needing much help from my parents or my darling bf.

Sitting in the ktm and pretending to flip through my anatomy notes like the so called diligent student that I am, I began to freak out that the ride to KL Sentral was taking up the better part of an hour.

Upon reaching KL Sentral, I ran to the toilet because I only had half an hour to switch TWO lrts and hop on to the bus that would bring me back to this shit hole I live in in the name of education and a good career.

I was in a long queue for my ticket to Masjid Jamek. Upon reaching Masjid Jamek, I stopped by the streets for a moment and felt like a true KLite. With the city wind blowing in my hair, drying my sweat and looking up at the sky scrapers……….oh fuck, 15 more minutes to 4pm!!

I immediately bought a ticket to Plaza Rakyat and climbed the stairs. To my dismay, I saw a horde of people descending the stairs. “Oh no,” I thought. “I’m definitely going to miss this train………”. So I ran up the stairs and the bell on the LRT went off, indicating that the doors were about to close.

NooOOooOooOOoo….

I ran towards the closing doors….I was doubtful if I could make it.

BUT, with a mighty parabola leap I managed to jump onto the LRT and the doors closed shut behind me. All the passengers inside the LRT were looking at me. I wondered if they would start clapping their hands. Seriously, I felt like I was doing some action movie stunt. Hahahahha.

Die die die.. 10 more minutes left.

When I reached Plaza Rakyat, there was a still a long way more to walk. I ran all the way to the metal walk way that leads to the bus station. My legs were like clockwork!

Along the way I saw a lot of beggars and I thought, “I should be nice.”

So as I ran along, I was putting RM1 notes into their mugs without even stopping. Can you imagine the scene? Like I was on some freaking game show.

But anyway, I managed to board the bus.

See, if I had a touch n go card, I would not have to queue up and then I would not have to be so drama-rama about my trips.

The Vietnam Trip – Episode One

Forgive me for lagging your computer fellow friends and readers alike. But you know me, you give me something different, I’ll be there with my camera.

I finally stepped out of Malaysia for the first time in nearly three years. Dad’s company has a factory in Vietnam and he thought it was a nice place to bring his family for a well deserved holiday.

My brother asked my dad on the plane, “Dad, does it snow in Vietnam?”

Dad was too embarrassed to admit that Mervyn was his son.

Hehe, actually cannot blame him also. I packed two jackets.

My brother and I don’t suck at geography for nothing. 😀

So anyway, Vietnam’s freaking warm. But it rains alot! Which is quite nice. I have like 500 photos from the trip(entire memory card full liao )…so I’ll be breaking it up into multiple entries.

An Introduction To Vietnam


The first Vietnamese faces to greet me.


The Airport at Saigon, Ho Chi Minh City.


The Australian man sitting next to me on the plane explained to me that the buildings here are very narrow because the tax they pay is according to the width of their doorway. Kesian…


There are absolutely NO rules when it comes to driving in Vietnam. They drive on the right side of the road and they honk all the time. it’s like if they’re bored, they drive on the left and when there’s an on-coming car, no problem, just swerve back to the normal lane. AND MOTORBIKES BERLAMBAK. You just close your eyes and cross the roads… they will manoeuvre around you, no worries.


No iPods yet, but they enjoy music too:)


So cute!! Got Santa Claus there!


The hotel we stayed in was not extremely grand a hotel, but very well equipped and satisfying. 🙂 As long as it has a long bath, a pretty bathroom, freezing airconditioning and a big nice window, I’m happy.
Here’s one of my grandmother with the christmas tree and the interior.

I can’t tell you the name of this hotel because I’m about to tell you about the massage parlour in the hotel. We thought it’d be cool to try out “authentic Vietnamese massage”. But apparently they touch all the wrong places, and they ask the men, “Sir, you want extra services?” and they will elaborate further with a very rude hand sign.


I found a display case in the lobby and got my brother to take this shot. Beautiful lighting?:D


The view from my hotel room. 🙂 Tee-hee. I know it doesn’t look much, but that’s the behind of the shoplots which stocks the funkiest bags and sandals.


Must camwhore, anywhere, anytme.

After resting at the hotel for awhile, we decided to check out the shops around the place. Since dad comes here so often, he knew where to bring us.


We went for heavenly beef noodles.. uhhhhh tasted SO great.


I don’t know which part of the cow this is, but it sure as hell rocked.


A funny pic of my father and brother that my brother will surely want me to delete and it will be a request that I will coldly ignore.


My camera shy brother and the interior of the restaurant.


This is the front of the restaurant. It’s pronounced as Fer 24. 😀


One of those bags cost about slightly below RM35. Good right? Sandals about RM25-Rm30. Not ridiculously cheap, but satisfying la.


Should be traditional vietnamese footwear. Didn’t get any though because I know I would not be able to find the perfect occasion to wear any of it.


There was this shop called Saigon Impression and it sells formal wear. I thought this outfit was quite special but the top cost about RM150. The pants was of a similiar value..so I only got the top. I mean, I know it’s costly, but it’s so special and unique!! You know the “got feel” attitude when it comes to shopping? It applies.

Problem is, I don’t know where to wear it too. Someone get married and invite me please.


Another angle.


My brother was getting his prom suit done. I mean can you imagine? Prom is like a year away and he’s making his suit already. Partly it’s because it’s about RM200 cheaper in Vietnam compared to the prices here. I like this picture though. Can see his naik syok face when the guy measured his underthighs. tee-hee.


My mum found something nice there as well!


I thought this photo of the Clarins’ building looked pretty nice.


It rained alot in Vietnam. So it was very nice and cooling all the time.


Strolling along the streets.


A typical Vietnamese vendor.


There were tons of mini art galleries all along the streets. And they are all very nice paintings. But it’s like one in every six shops is an art gallery.


That’s me trying to act touristy.


Some of the more unique paintings available in the art galleries.


We went to this Ice-cream parlour and they served candies in the shape of spastic looking animals(think Happy Tree Friends) in a glass bowl. Quite cute lah.


Mum and I


The interior.


They sell these freaky snake wine. It’s not advisable to drink it though. But some people do. I bought one for Chee Kiang and he said he got a shock when he opened it. hahahahaha.


I motioned to this vendor with my camera that I would like to snap a photo of her with her wares.. but she put her straw hat on my head and made me pose with her wares instead. LOL. Then my father had to buy some bananas from her as a payment. Smart cookie, this one.

More photos coming up… but we all like photos, no?:) I know I do.

Bye Bye Jayelleenelial.blogdrive.com!

It has been a good 2 years and 10 months over here.

This entry would be my 623th and I’m leaving blogdrive. I thank you for all the fun and convenience(and the occasional server down times) that blogdrive has given me.

An avenue to be myself and maybe even become that someone I never really thought I could be before opening this blog.

A reason to keep in touch with friends.

A reason to make so many more friends.

A photoalbum filled with almost every waking moment of mine.

A journal that chronicled my thoughts, ideas, weirdness and experiences of sorts.

 

… I’ve enjoyed every single bit of blogging.

 

 

I guess it’s time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

TO MOVE TO MY OWN DOMAIN!! WHOO HOOO!!!

WWW.JAYELLEENELIAL.COM HAS ARRIVED!!

fooled ya, didn’t I?

To commemorate this (grand) occasion, i’d like to hear a word or two from friends and silent readers alike in the comments about your earliest memory of me and my blog and REMEMBER TO CHRISTIAN THE COMMENT BOX OVER AT MY NEW BLOG TOO YEAH?

Do remember to change your links, but I’ll be going around and bugging you lot too.